I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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