hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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