Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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