im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
