WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
