Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
