he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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