That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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