Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
