fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
