"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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