I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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