this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
FUCK WHALES
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
