she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
