we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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