Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
