I smell stomach acid.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
