My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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