who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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