Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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