Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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