do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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