the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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