if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
