You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
