I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
