Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
