She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
