Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
