Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
cat food counts as protein by the way
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
