my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
