Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
