Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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