We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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