She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
