is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
