youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
