stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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