so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
