Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
