you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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