Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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