I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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