I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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