im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
