in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
