Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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