dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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