i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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