Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
