I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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