STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
